I get married in a little over a week. Holy shit. For starters, I can’t believe I’m even considered mature enough to be a wife. Thanks Anthony, for believing that I’m an adult :).
Second, I’ve recently learned that, planning your wedding doesn’t have to have drama, but if it does, it will all take place in the last two weeks leading up to the day. 🙂
I’ve been sort of “loosely” planning everything. Living two plane rides and a layover away from Connecticut, where the wedding is taking place, I learned really early on in the process that I’m not going to have the control that most brides do. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say I’m the least bridezilla of all the brides I’ve known (except for maybe my cousin.. she was so chill, you’d think she was the groom), largely because of that fact. Normally I’m a bit of a control freak. So I guess you could say I’m grateful for not having to stress over quite as much, and especially grateful to my mom and future mom-in-law for taking the reigns and basically doing it for me. Which, let’s be honest, is how I like most tasks. #lazy
The wedding party has no responsibility whatsoever. Literally, they are just required to show up on time (which in itself will prove to be a task for some). We didn’t have any of the standard showers, parties, etc because we weren’t going to be able to come back to Connecticut more than once or twice over the summer. Also, I hate that kind of attention, so I eagerly blamed the distance and just casually ignored people when they asked why we didn’t just do it when we were back for Easter and the 4th of July.
We didn’t register for gifts. For a couple reasons. One being the aforementioned distance and lack of showers, engagement parties, etc. Second, I’m a total recovering hoarder as it is. I was completely content to leave all my shit at my mom’s house in Connecticut, and start fresh and organized at our new place where I didn’t have tons of crap I didn’t need. Which is basically what a wedding registry is made of. Especially since we moved in eight months ago and have long since bought the things we did need. Which leads me to the third reason: we just want money. Is that wrong to ask for? According to all my googling of wedding etiquette it’s inappropriate to cry poverty and send a collection basket around the reception. But what am I supposed to do? Lie when people ask what we want as a wedding gift? (If I’m being completely honest, I wish wedding gifts weren’t even a thing.) What do all young, non-celebrity couples want? Money. As a guest, I would love that response. It’s like buying a gift card for someone. It’s not as impersonal as people think. It’s easy for everyone. The benefactor just has to write the check, no thought required. The recipient just has to watch their bank account grow (which, if you ask me, is the equivalent to a parent watching their kid grow up to be President of the United States), or use said check on whatever they may need. Why is this inappropriate?
Anyway, my point is, us moving out of Connecticut was probably the best thing to ever happen to anyone involved in this wedding. Wedding party, guests, venues, vendors, etc. It’s so easy. For everyone. (Except maybe the moms.. thanks moms!) Which is why I find myself confused as to how all this drama is arising now, less than two weeks away from the day. You’ve had nine relaxing months to figure your shit out. So I guess it makes sense that 14 days from my one and only trip down the aisle, people are having second thoughts, issues, seating drama, date drama, food drama. You name it, there’s drama associated with it.
I have been smiling and nodding through most of it, because I guess at the end of the day, I don’t really care anywhere near as much as I should, but there are certain instances where I think about all of it and just get annoyed. It’s not the fact that people are having issues. It’s the fact that they have had so much time to figure them out, and then suddenly they are barfed all over me to deal with, mere days from the event.
Meanwhile, I’m trying to remind myself that resolving said issues has to be more important than how many Pumpkin Spice lattes I can manage to drink before America’s autumn addiction is officially released to the public next month.
Is it normal to care so much, yet so little about your wedding day?