If you know me, then you know I’m the constant down-player. I downplay most things I’m doing, and I seldom vocally “own” anything I do.
For example: photography.
I drafted contracts and collected money for my services. By definition, a “professional” photographer is one who collects payment vs. an “amateur” photographer who does it as a hobby. However, yours truly here refused to own it. When people asked what I did, I would say “I do photography” or “I’m trying to build a photography business.” But never “I am a photographer.” Nor, “I own a photography business.”
Standing up and declaring what I was doing, or had done is just something I.. well, didn’t. It fell perfectly in line with my personality that was extraordinarily lackluster in terms of confidence. It was as though I felt, if I don’t own it in how I speak about it, the easier it will be for me to shed that “title” when I fail.
When. Not if. When. Sounds like the attitude of a successful business woman, doesn’t it?
So, that ends here.
I am done planning failures. I’m planning successes. Success for me, for my husband, for my family and friends, my future children, and so on.
I am done deciding I can’t do that, simply because I’m afraid to try. Trying may not guarantee success, however not trying will absolutely guarantee failure.
So… I bought a business last month. Not the traditional kind. But the kind that in one short month so far has given me a front row seat to watching people’s lives change. To watching my own life change. And the option to create financial freedom while being my own boss, on my own time, in my own time, with my friends and the new friends I have met along the way.
When I was a kid and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would always say a stay at home mom. That was it. College wasn’t a thing. It wasn’t even in my line of sight at the time. It was for people who wanted a career. I wanted a family. I wanted to be like my mom. Well, the older I got, the less realistic that seemed, as the need for dual income became stronger than ever. Now, I’m still dancing on the tip of this iceberg, but never have I felt so sure of anything. And never has fate, whether you believe in it or not, tipped so very far in my favor, nor in so many ways. All I wanted a sign that this undertaking was the right choice. Just one little itty bitty sign from God? The universe? Whatever? Was all I would need to gather up my fragmented confidence and take a plunge just a smidge bigger than anything I’ve ever attempted before. One sign? Try countless signs. It’s crystal freaking clear that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, and I’m beyond grateful for the opportunities and the sacrifices necessary to get here.
Whenever I would say I wanted to change the world, I never really knew exactly what that meant. I knew I wanted to have an impact on those around me. Leave people better than the way I found them. I knew I wanted to be financially sound, because without that, I can’t give things away to my heart’s content. I knew all that, yet I didn’t know how to achieve it. But about nine months ago I caught a glimpse of how, and one month ago I finally realized that comfort zones are for people who don’t want to grow, and that it was time to take a leap.
I’ll let you know when I land, if I ever do. Stay tuned. Or come with me. It’s up to you. 🙂