self tanner or pantyhose?

It’s spring!  I think?  We’ve had two full days with sunshine and temperatures over 40º.  Oh, and it’s April 15th.  So it’s freaking spring now, right?!  For the love of God this chilly season was longer and more drawn out than the fifth Harry Potter book.  Am I right or am I right?

Tomorrow, Anthony, some friends, and I are going to a business seminar where the top earner in our company will tell her amazing story & how she came to be the badass business woman she is.  It’s not super formal, more business casual, but I’ve spent the better part of the last seven months in dark denim and boots so, it’s time to bust out the dresses and heels, y’all.

Next step?  Day drinking on a patio somewhere.

One small problem.  My legs.  Don’t worry, they are maintained, believe it or not, despite the endless cold.  Unfortunately though, keeping up with my legs throughout the winter was the problem.  Well, that and the fact that I’m an absolute butcher with a razor.  If I possessed any patience in any way whatsoever, I may be able to avoid the battle wounds I acquire in she shower. However, since I am both impatient, and hate the daily need for personal hygiene because all I can think about are all the things I could be doing instead, well… It’s more or less the shower scene from Psycho, maybe four out of seven times per week.  What’s that, 57% of my tub time ends in carnage?  So I basically get an F in showering.

I’m telling you, once I find a decent place to get my brows done, we’re upgrading to the leg wax as well.  Because mangled legs won’t look good in Florida this July.  If we’re being honest, is there ever a time where that does look good?


So here’s my dilemma.  Tomorrow is dress day.  I didn’t throw on said dress until yesterday when I found it at TJMaxx.  Do I borrow a pair of great-grandma’s pantyhose?  Are those still something women wear?  Or do I for the first time in my life purchase self-tanner and cross my fingers hoping for the best come tomorrow morning?  I’m nothing if not a complete and total Last Minute Lucy.  It’s dawning on me now that I probably could have assessed the dress situation a little more than a day or two before an event I’ve known about for a month…  Oops?  Bear in mind I’m the same girl who had her second & final wedding dress fitting with fingers tightly crossed literally three days before my wedding after trying it on once before two months earlier.  So I suppose I also get an F in preparation.

I’m not against the ho’s.  Or is it hoes?  Hose?  (See?  I’m way out of my league.)  I used to wear those or stockings or something when I was in elementary school for concerts where I would play my flute for the world.  And I know my mom and mother in law will wear them with dresses.  But I very rarely see anyone my age wear them.  So I have a hunch that they aren’t exactly “in style” anymore.  Or at least not for my generation.  So, I personally don’t mind them.  But I do mind showing up and looking like I’m 57 among my group of twenty to thirty-somethings.

I am leaning towards self tanner.  More specifically a Sally Hansen one I saw a review for online.  Any suggestions?

The lotion or the hose?  Apparently I get an F in gender, as well.  Hehe.

In other news, happy Friday!  Enjoy the sunshine!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s