“Activism’s” flavor of the week.

It’s been almost a year since my last soap box rant so, I guess I’m due.

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we visited the capitol earlier this year and let’s pretend that this is me on my soapbox addressing america instead of me standing in an empty courtroom addressing a panel of imaginary judges.

Can we all pull our millennial heads out of our millennial butts long enough to realize that if we boycott every f*cking thing that we don’t agree with, we’re the ones that look stupid, not the thing we’re boycotting?

I realize I might lose people because humans are so gosh darn fragile nowadays, so I just want to make my bottom line before I start in on my annual soap box speech… Pseudo-activism hurts the cause.  There are no ifs, ands or buts.

It works like this: someone randomly selects a popular “cause,” gets behind it knowing no more than what a slanted article headline will tell them, simply because it’s what all the cool kids from their Facebook newsfeed are doing.  They poorly present their argument because they aren’t actually passionate due to jumping onboard five minutes earlier and are just trying to look that way.  People get annoyed, people get sick of hearing about it, and people who were on that side of the card now look at that cause like a nuisance and something that needs to go away.

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another totally relevant (not) courtroom in Madison, WI.

Example: modern day feminism (my personal social demon).  I used to be very much for female empowerment.  I still am.  But like, the normal kind.  The shatter the glass ceiling kind.  Not the kind that thinks anything with male parts is a sexist slime ball.  Not the kind that doesn’t get a job and acts like a victim, concluding that the reason has to be because “a man was hired instead.”  Yeah, I’m sure it had nothing to do with personality, level of experience, level of education and/or the fact that they could probably get away with paying that person less for some reason, because if people can save a buck, they will.  Not the kind that wears red on International Women’s Day and posts a photo to social media because #omgsolidarity, but then the other 364 days of the year doesn’t give a single F about it.  Seriously.  You make me question my own gender’s motives 98% of the time.  Stop.

NFL protests.

Black Lives Matter.

White Supremacism??  Are you kidding me?!  1890 called and they want their assholes back. 

The list goes on.  So, if you want to feel useful and special in this world of 7+ billion people who all have their own thoughts and opinions too?  Either actually open the article and get knowledgable about your cause, or sit down, and let the professionals handle it.  Real activism is messy.  It’s hard.  It requires dedication and basically becoming a martyr.  That’s why so few people are actual activists.  Because so many of us aren’t willing to really get our hands dirty, and somehow think a 5-minute post on Facebook is enough “proof” that you stand for something.  If your 15 minutes of social media praise is worth damaging the bandwagon you’ve jumped on, then it’s time to hand the phone back to mommy, because how much of an activist can you really be?  Standing for a cause is amazing.  Standing simply to say that you stood is being a poseur.  (Is that word still cool?)

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idk. just go with it.

Boycott is like the trendy past time of 2017.

🍝 Barilla doesn’t support the LGBTQ.  “Boycott Barilla!”

👗 Nordstrom dropped Ivanka Trump’s fashion line. “Boycott Nordstrom!”

🐶 PetSmart doesn’t allow Pitbulls at doggy daycare.  “Boycott PetSmart!”

☕️ Keurig stopped advertising for Sean Hannity.  “Boycott Keurig!”

🏈 The NFL Players kneel during the anthem because somehow this represents race equali– huh?  “Doesn’t matter, boycott football!” (Full disclosure, I call total bullshit on this one.  The delivery is all wrong.  Disrespecting the flag and anthem that people died for that pays you millions to play with balls is not the way to raise awareness for something.  Even if disrespect is not their intention, that is the message people are receiving, and that’s what matters, because you lose your following when people misinterpret your message.)

👨🏼 I still don’t like Donald Trump.  “Let’s boycott adulthood and scream at the sky for no reason because somehow that helps people take us seriously!”

👨🏻 Johnny looked in my direction for two seconds too long three weeks ago and this is officially sexual harassment because today I saw other people getting attention for actually being sexually harassed so I’m now deciding #metoo.  “Boycott men!”

“Boycott Starbucks!” –  “Boycott Pepsi!” – “Boycott TJMaxx!” (um, yeah never, sorry.) “Boycott boycott boycott!

Okay well, almost all millennials and outspoken celebrities annoy me at this moment.  Should I be boycotting Netflix and selfies and social media and holding a coffee cup with two hands while wearing uggs?  Award shows where people literally can’t STFU about the election of last year and all talk shows where these quote-unquote “comedians” seemingly have literally nothing else to make jokes about?

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if you squint, this image looks straight AND you can see the words “supreme court.” because, theme.

I know it’s 2017 and all the children who were treated special and never told the word ‘no’ now “have a voice” and think simply making a post on social media about their alarmingly sudden interest in politics makes them an “activist,” however you’re actually hurting your “cause.”  Just because it’s trendy right now to be outspoken and annoying doesn’t mean that cheap pasta or a crappy coffee maker needs to become your hill to die on.  (Espresso machines are way better, and taste like actual Starbucks.. just saying.)

Especially considering it’s a waste of time and money.  People stopped buying Barilla when it came out that they don’t support gay marriage.  Okay, so you’re going to spend more money on a freaking pound of rigatoni, and Mr. and Mrs. Barilla are going to remain old-fashioned and homophobic because, somehow, your pasta purchase or lack thereof wasn’t enough to wrangle their mindset into present-day thinking.  So who is winning here?  Not you or your wallet (NOR gay marriage in the minds of the Barilla family) that’s for sure.

The latest and greatest, I guess it’s the alt-right’s turn this week, making anyone east of socialist look bad, actually smashing their hundred dollar Keurig coffee machines because the company pulled their advertising from Sean Hannity’s Fox News prime time show.  I guess he “defended” (aka withheld judgment waiting for confirmation because he maintains the whole innocent until proven guilty thing) some conservative with some sort of sexual misconduct charges against him.  Okay.  I see your frustration.  And if the dude is guilty, his ass better be kicked out of congress and punished.  However, this would be more outrageous to me if the late-night talk show hosts weren’t suddenly pleading the 5th about dirty ole Harvey Weinstein and the growing list of Hollywood scumbags who use the fame and fortune to take advantage of young women and men innocently trying to make it in the industry.

The level of hypocrisy is mind-numbing.  You don’t have the luxury of being outraged about one example of sexual assault and not another.  One example of racism but not another.  One example of sexism but not another.  And I hate that this is the case, but I’m becoming so disgustingly indifferent and numb to any and all news stories because people are so hypocritical and annoying these days.

Sheesh.  Anyway.  Putting the soap box away for another year (you’re welcome).  But for real, people.  If you want to be taken seriously on either side of the spectrum, please, for the love of God, think before you tantrum.  Common sense is apolitical.  Check yourself before you wreck yourself. 🙏

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