Happy Love Day, lovers!
What’ve you all got planned for today? Tonight? With your significant other? Gal pals (Galentine’s Day is a thing and it’s awesome)? Yourself?
I’ll let you in on a little secret of mine. I used to pretend not to like Valentine’s Day. I mean, to be fair, I’m not super over the moon about Hallmark holidays anyway, because I’m more frugal than I am festive. 😂 But, back when I was single, of course I was like most other single people who didn’t really care about the day because it wasn’t really for us, you know? Then after Anthony and I started getting serious & Valentine’s Days would roll around, I’d kind of casually brush it off to keep up appearances so it didn’t sound like I only didn’t care about V-day just because I was single. Like a dope. Baha. Tell me I’m not the only one who’s done this?
I will say though, I have started to like the holiday even more in the past few years because I love the importance of a day about love. Loving your partner, loving your friends, loving yourself… It’s a busy, crazy, divided, negative world out there lately, and now more than ever it’s amazing to have a fun little reason to stop what you’re doing and remember to love— yourself especially. Because if you’re anything like me, and probably most others, we tend to let ourselves get pushed to the back of the receiving line when it comes to our own affection.
For me personally, I have always had trouble seeing the line between self-love and self-absorption. I always gagged at the idea of self-absorbed people, and I never wanted to be one of those, or be seen as one of those myself. So I went through life being overly critical of myself, putting myself down and never seeing many, if any, positive qualities to my looks, body, personality, what I had to offer the world… I know they say you are you own worst critic, but I truly didn’t like myself, and that always felt normal to me. I always told my mom, “if I weren’t me, I wouldn’t be friends with me.” And the idea of not feeling that way felt so strange and self-involved, that I never really grew out of it as I got older.
But the truth is, there is a line between self-love and self-involved. Valentine’s Day is a mere reminder to love, and that day & reminder is for everyone. It’s not an exclusive “couples only” club. So whether you’re married, divorced, dating, single, it’s complicated, whatever, take a few minutes today and be your own Valentine before anyone else’s. We’re all perfectly flawed humans and we all deserve some lovin’. Especially from the people who don’t give it to us enough– ourselves.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that today is also Ash Wednesday & the beginning of Lent. I mean, sure, it may put a momentary halt on the plans we might have had for today. But the meaning behind it is so much more than that. I never really understood Lent until this past weekend. I just saw it as the handful of weeks before Easter where I have a panic attack every time I eat meat, thinking it’s Friday where I’m supposed to abstain. But that’s not what it is. It’s a season of forgiveness. A clean slate.
Regardless of your beliefs, I think we can all use a clean slate sometimes. Especially within ourselves. I think most of us hold ourselves to impossible standards and feel like we aren’t enough. Well you are. And if you cut yourself the slack you cut everyone else, it’ll be easier to see.
So go. Let yourself off the hook and love yourself this season and on this love day, 2018! 💘💝
Don’t worry, the post for my main squeeze will be over on my instagram. I’m not completely boring. 😂 Speaking of Insta, drop me a line with your social media or something so I can go and follow all your exciting v-days! Mine is being spent in a hotel where I spend the other 96 hours of the work week these days.. hehe. But we did our Valentine’s dinner on Sunday, so, all good in this hood!