3 reasons hotel housekeeping may hate you

Happy Thursday, friends!  And the happiest of birthdays to my handsome husband as well!  And happy women’s day too!  But in the sense that all women are kickass and strong.  Not in that crazed trendy modern day feminism way where being proud of women = hating men. 💁

So it’s no secret that the “Undomestic Mrs.” in me has been on furlough since we started living the Suite Life of Zach and Cody almost three months ago.  And I realize my posts have been a little heavier than I normally subject you guys to.  But I promise I’m still the same airhead who googles how to chop garlic, and our regularly scheduled programming will resume ASAP.  Maybe even next week, since I do have a little anecdote about my own stupidity in relation to at home waxing that I’ll be happy to fill you in on as soon I’m sure that the targeted peach fuzz is actually gone.  I’ll know better once the redness goes away. 😂

In other news, I’m like 89% sure that the housekeeping staff is as excited for us to leave as we are.  Okay, not really.  But if I were them, I’d totally be doing high-fives the minute I learned we were only booked for one more week after this one.  For a couple reasons.


I’ M  A L W A Y S  A R O U N D

This my friends, is a dream come true for no one.  Trust me.

For the first month, I spent 80% of my time in the room (with the other 20 spent swearing in rush hour traffic).  Eventually I took my downtime and allocated an hour and a half of it to Planet Fitness because beach season is (supposedly) on its way.  But before that point, I was always in the room when they came a-knockin’ to make my bed for me.  I’ve never worked on that end of the hotel biz, but I can’t imagine housekeeping very often stumbles upon too many guests during their rounds.  I can’t think of why anyone would spend the entire day in their hotel room unless you’re trapped there like me.  But anyway, I know I could have declined the service, but we usually needed toilet paper or tissues or wash cloths or I got too much of my foundation all over my towel, etc.  That & I wanted them to be able to do their job, so I would always scoot out when they came, but I’m sure the awkward language barrier wasn’t the highpoint of their day anymore than it was mine.  Thankfully though, nowadays my gym time usually overlaps their cleaning time, and by the time I come back, they’ve cleared out.

I  P U T  M Y  R O O M  O N  L O C K  D O W N

Look, it’s not that I don’t trust housekeeping, per se.  I just don’t trust anyone who has temporary access to my stuff when I’m not there.  So do I put away all electronics?  Yes.  Initially I would even bring my laptop with me in the car.  I put away all of my stuff like shampoo, my razor and toothbrush and such because it’s unnecessary clutter and I, for reasons unknown, don’t want them to know that I have my own shampoo.  Also yes I did haphazardly throw sh*t on top of my purse so that it wouldn’t look too obviously left behind (I only take my license to the gym), and I hope it’s not offensive to them that I somewhat try to hide it.  And no I don’t think I’m fooling anyone, but I’d rather have it “sort of hidden” than sitting out saying “please paw through me!”  At the end of the day, I’ve worked in Starbucks stores where supervisors were literally stealing from the safe.  So, color me neurotic, and I apologize to the housekeeping ladies who are probably all fine, upstanding citizens laughing at my paranoia.  But you only have to deal with it for one more week. 😂


I’ M  A L W A Y S  I N  T H E  W A Y

There is one particular housekeeping chick whom I just call “mop lady” because every time I would see her in the morning, I’d be tripping over her decision to mop the lobby floors right in the middle of the breakfast rush.  I don’t like walking on floors that have just been mopped.  It feels rude and inconsiderate.  But what is a starving animal to do when it’s time for breakfast and mop lady is going to town on the floors right outside the room?  Obviously whatever I can do to get to the food. 🤷‍♀️

I find that we are always running into this chick, and she is everywhere we need to be.  The other day we were walking downstairs and had to squeeze by her while she swept the walls (yes, with a broom).  And later that day I came back from the gym to find her washing the glass panes of the door to the hotel that I was heading into.  I’m telling you.  She’s everywhere.  If I’m heading that way, she’s already there freaking cleaning something.

This morning walking down to breakfast Anthony and I heard a vacuum and both exchanged a look.  But, alas, it was not her.  Maybe she had the day off.  Thank God.  She looks nice when she smiles at you, but after nine weeks of using fancy footwork around her mops and brooms, you know that smile is actually saying “ok but when are you checking out for good?”  Not soon enough, lady.  Not soon enough. 🤦‍♀️

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