Real Talk Tuesday is my own personal commentary on whatever the topic. Opinions are my own, and just that-- opinions. Feel free to agree or disagree! RTTs are not meant to be offensive in any way, and I hope they aren't, but, you know, just in case! Haha.
I know somebody. Who’s dating somebody. Unfortunately it’s going to be pretty vague because, well, it’s the internet and you never know.
There’s this dude. He’s been dating a girl for several years now (I’ve met her once or twice at a party and in passing).
He and a few others were talking about taking a vacation down south in the coming months, and he mentioned how the schedule would have to work out for both of them, because she would need to go too.
This didn’t sound out of the ordinary, as they’d been together for a while, and I started going on vacations with Anthony a little under a year into our relationship. So, I didn’t think anything of it. In fact, I would have actually found it weirder if she wasn’t going (no matter how much I will be reconsidering my availability for that week #biotch).
A few days later talks of the vacation were still buzzing around, and it came up that the reason this girlfriend had to go wasn’t because, “they vacation as a unit,” but because she doesn’t trust him to go away with his friends & family and not do something wrong.
I assume she means with other girls.
What I don’t understand, for the life of me, are people who outright don’t trust their partners for no reason other than they just don’t.
They are not married. They don’t have any children. They kinda-sorta live together, but the place is owned by his parents. So there’s nothing binding them together.
I guess I have two questions for her:
∗ If you don’t trust your partner to the point of, wherever they go, you go, and if you can’t be there you’re constantly keeping tabs on them– what are you doing still dating them?
∗ And, further, if you’ve been together for multiple years, and nothing has ever happened– why do you have this debilitating fear that something will?
In my opinion, I feel that it would be insulting to the other person, if they’ve done nothing wrong in the first place, to allow what I have to guess is a personal insecurity to imply that they aren’t trustworthy nor faithful.
Yes, I do believe there are obvious exceptions. Far be it from me to ever say anything positive about Hillary, but I do give her credit for not dumping Bill’s clothes all over the front lawn of the White House & suggesting he find somewhere else to live at the end of his second term. If someone has a “colorful” history, or if you have a history with someone who cheated on you and it’s a knee-jerk reaction that you’re trying to curb– so different, and not what I’m referring to. I’d never weigh in on a situation like that. This is more directed at the people who have no history nor reason to suspect.
It just feels the same as accusing someone of wanting to rob a bank anytime they walk into one, with no evidence to support this claim.
I can’t picture a situation where I would commit to years and a possible forever of worrying that anytime my partner goes out and I’m not there, he or she would do something stupid. I wouldn’t invite that type of stress into a relationship, and to be perfectly honest, I’d be far too lazy to be willing to be in a relationship where I had to constantly worry about that.
I’m not judging anyone, I don’t think I’m perfect, and I’m not pointing fingers (except at dude I know’s girlfriend 😏, whom you may have gathered I don’t particularly care for…😜), but on behalf of dude I know, and all the other good people out there who are with partners who can’t trust them, don’t let your own insecurities cloud your judgment.
Don’t let it get in the way of what could be a perfectly trusting and more fluid relationship. Because, I know if I were the person that wasn’t trusted after never doing anything wrong in the first place, I’m not sure how long I’d be willing to put up with someone questioning my every move or soiling my good name.
Not to mention, at least in the case of dude I know and his
wrangler girlfriend, she’s just one of those girls who would positively have. a. cow. if that type of finger were ever pointed in her direction. And I think we all know how I feel about hypocrisy. 💁🏻
Like I said before, I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. And I know sometimes my tone can come off a wee bit more hostile than intended. To be perfectly honest, I think I just have a bug up my ass that this girl may end up on vacation at the same time and in the same place as me. Which would be fine if she was there because they were enjoying a vacation together and not just to tighten dude I know’s
noose leash. That whole revelation just really had me raising an eyebrow.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this subject!
In the meantime I’ll be butchering some blueberry muffins, as I’m about 88% sure I don’t have all the ingredients but, if you don’t believe in yourself, who will, right? 😳
I’m trying to have a Real Talk Tuesday each week with more serious, “real” topics than what I normally blather on about, so if there is an idea you’d be interested in discussing, drop me a message or a comment, because more often than not, I’m fresh out of ideas.
As in, they have to basically unfold right in front of my face like the above situation in order for me to even consider something topical. Help a girl out. 😂