If you’re easily offended, seriously go away. I don’t even care about your feelings today, and this is your warning shot. ๐Ÿ˜‚

I had another post scheduled for today. I actually had a lot planned for today.

If you had told me that instead of my To Do List, I would spend my day on a spontaneous epic fucking quest for TOILET PAPER, I would’ve laughed & literally eaten the last roll that is sitting in my house. Because that? That would be ridiculous.

Ha! Oh, Sam, it’s 2020 after all, where the same people who slam Harvey Weinstein salute Kobe Bryant. Where it’s totally cool for one side of the political spectrum to say something, but not okay for the other side to say the exact same thing. We are trapped in a swirling vortex of hypocrisy and insanity where JLo can say “#metoo” and then conceive a child with a pole on the halftime stage in front of her young daughter so WHY WOULDN’T A TOILET PAPER CRISIS BE A THING?

Before I go any further, can someone— A N Y O N E please enlighten me. What the actual fuck are you all DOING with such an obscene amount of toilet paper? Why is E V E R Y T H I N G ELSE including soap now IN STOCK, but the TOILET PAPER is just gone? Poof. Disappeared. People are literally stealing it Elaine style from public bathrooms. And if I didn’t have my mom’s house so close by, I would’ve been one of them after dinner when I finally have time to take a shit each day. (Don’t @ me, I warned you up top. Everyone poops. Go away. ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿšช)

While you scribble your responses, let me hit you with my personal opinion on the subject.

We all know it wasn’t 200 people each buying one package of toilet paper or one bottle of hand sanitizer or one bottle of soap (Walmart was wiped out of hand soap earlier in the week). There are plenty of people who would and absolutely did walk up to those shelves and grab as many of whatever item as they could with no thought nor regard for anyone else. Because they wanted to stock up. So that they would be able to live for however long in the event that this turned into the end of days the media frenzy wants us to think it is.

And those are the accidentally or intentionally selfish people I’m referring to (reminder: you have options ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿšช) in today’s TED talk.

  1. The world isn’t ending.
  2. The recommended “self quarantine” time seems to be anywhere from 2-4 weeks, until you feel better. You don’t need a truckload of toilet paper for 4 weeks, as, contrary to the apparently popular belief, COVID-19 is not associated with diabolical diarrhea. You don’t need 86 bottles of hand sanitizer, especially if you’re already sick. If the world were to end all Walking Dead style? A shit ton of soap and TP isn’t going to do you much good. In fact, having a lot of in demand stuff during a shortage actually puts you at risk.
  3. You’re contributing to the spread of the virus, NOT the prevention. You’re possibly preventing YOURSELF from contracting it, but your weird disaster hoarding is preventing OTHERS from also being able to do so, thus, as I said, C O N T R I B U T I N G to the problem.
  4. You are also probably the type of person to run to the doctor at the first sign of a sniffle. If you are a member of the “high risk” group of people (60+, pre-existing conditions such as heart/lung issues, diabetes, etc) please do that. You will likely need medical attention, and you should get it, for your sake and the sake of others.
  5. The rest of us who are low risk? It is well documented (including the first person to bring it to the US) that it, most commonly, runs its course, and then goes away. No one likes to be sick, but it is still winter, and it happens, and thankfully most of us aren’t going to die from it. DO NOT GET IN THE WAY OF PEOPLE WHO COULD. Please do not clog the healthcare system while there are children and elderly and countless other people who are sick or involved in accidents who need that bed more than you do.
  6. This virus, much like the Flu or Ebola or Swine or any other epidemic will go away. Simply practicing good hygiene and taking extra care during the next month or so is already being proactive. There’s seriously no need to be doing a year’s worth of grocery shopping, as consumables are going to go to waste or go bad, and it’s food or otherwise that other people could have used. Don’t create a shortage because you’re panicking.

In short, is the situation serious? Yes. Is it “build your underground bunker and hunker down” serious? No.

I’m not a doctor, but this has been around since 2019. I know it’s floating around the US, but it’s been doing so for a while now. It’s going to reach its peak and then it’s going to die down. Please don’t add to the mass hysteria that is happening for the wrong reasons.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Sorry if this was offensive. I’m not insensitive to the nature of the virus. I’m insensitive to people being stupid as a result and “playing monkey, see monkey do” and adding fuel to the fire rather than working towards managing it.

Also my ridiculous journey to retrieve six rolls of toilet paper because we were a couple bowel movements away from being out triggered the fuck out of me and the Black Friday sized checkout lines at Costco launched this tirade. Tomorrow is another day. But it’s also Friday the 13th so, who even knows anymore.

Stay well, friends. And conserve that precious toilet paper!

3 thoughts on “MASS HYSTERIA ISN’T COOL.

  1. I so enjoyed your TED talk. You could take it on the road and speak in empty auditoriums all over the world:)
    Iโ€™m sorry your toilet paper situation is critical. Iโ€™m going to let you in on a crazy thing I was taught growing up. My father had always said always stock up on toilet paper in the fall so youโ€™ll have less to carry into the house when you grocery shop in cold weather. Yes, that is insane but I have enough to last another month. I think of it as a way to honor my fatherโ€™s memory. Heโ€™d be proud that I was for once prepared for this irrational crisis (shelves bare of toilet paper not the pandemic). If you were my neighbor Iโ€™d be happy to share with you. Remember we are all in this together:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! I wonder I bet those auditoriums still have toilet paper.. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜‚
      Thank you so much for sharing that! It almost made me tear up a little. My dad passed away last June and I love when a situation arises where I can heed advice he’d given me over the years. And that’s such a smart tip! I never would’ve thought of that!
      I agree, I wish others would see it the same way! And thanks for being willing to share! I managed to snag some rolls in Massachusetts (I’m in CT) where, ironically, there are more coronavirus cases than CT, yet no one seems to be going nuts up there, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Iโ€™m in Massachusetts. My husband just called me from Stop & Shop where it looks like locusts wiped out all the produce and meat. Of course heโ€™s there buying coffee and Pepsi. We need our legal stimulants to get through:)
        Iโ€™m sorry about your dad. My parents passed away in 2015. I finally welcome the things that remind me of them.


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