homemade bread for newbs

For newbies, by newbies. 🙋🏼

Guys, I started a YouTube channel!

Ha, not really.

Was being a YouTuber my young adult dream? Duh. I’m a female, for starters, and I love all things social media and drool at the idea of working for myself from home. Will I ever be one? It’s not likely, folks. My life isn’t anywhere near interesting enough, and I don’t have any real solutions, just the desire to write about a healthy load of undomestic problems so, while I never say never, it’s probably going to be a no from me dawg.

However, this quarantine has gotten the better of me, and I’m cracking like an egg, y’all. I’m cagey, the extrovert in me is dying to get out and interact with my friends and family again, and the introvert in me is loving that we are stuck home where I get to do silly things like film fake tutorials of baking homemade breads, cooking chili and sewing homemade blankets.

So in order to fill my bottomless entertainment void, I have started a new series called, “If Sam Can Do It…” because, really… if I can do it, anyone can.

Our first episode is homemade bread.

I follow all these adorable accounts on Instagram from girls who make cute little loaves of bread and act like it’s not hard nor chock full of margin for error. So one day I giddily bought a tiny packet of yeast, because the jar I had from the one time I made chocolate croissants and pizza dough like four years ago in Wisconsin had since expired and apparently been thrown out. I don’t know. It wasn’t me who did it. (Full disclosure: I would’ve used it if we still had it, so thanks Anthony, you may have saved lives.)

I stuffed the packet away in our pantry for a day when I had tons of time to be elbow deep in sticky bread dough without having to stop and wrangle a baby. (Hashtag never.) Welp, the universe proved me wrong in the form of COVID-19 and my husband being home 24/7 and the store not having any bread for our grocery order. Talk about a perfect storm of opportunity. 😄

The bread turned out pretty good, taste-wise. The only complaint I have is with my oven, I think. The recipe told me to cook it for 35-40 minutes, and it was still a little raw on the inside for up to almost an hour of baking. I’d question the recipe if all of my quarantine cookies and even holiday baking didn’t take twice the amount of instructed time as well.

I know what you’re thinking— I’d be ready to question everything I ever thought about myself too. Throw this whole “undomestic” title in the trash– if we had had this particular oven for years. Unfortunately though, it’s just approaching a year old next month, and I have been destroying recipes and setting off many a smoke detector since l o n g before that.

As far as looks-wise, well, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. And it was my first time. I’d be more than happy to take another crack at it, however apparently the entire planet has decided to become bread-makers, as yeast is pretty much sold out (or price-gouged) E V E R Y W H E R E.

I even checked the internet. Like, I know we’re in a little crisis here, but I’ve been putting off this dream of making cute baked goods for long enough. Help a girl out, and if you’re not actually going to use the yeast, kindly leave it on the shelf for yours truly.

Real talk though, whenever it becomes available again or people stop being dicks and overpricing it, I absolutely recommend Fleishmann’s over whatever crap I used (I think Hodgson’s?) I’m not sure it was the proper kind, even though I googled the specific type of yeast when I searched the recipe. But that also may have played a role in the overall appearance. I’ve used Fleishmann’s before and had great results for the aforementioned pizza dough that one time in 2016. #expert

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