I know, I know. You’ve heard it all before. But this one is actually it.
A little under a year ago we bought a new house. About a month later, right after we had our baby, our next door neighbor & her husband came over with containers of homemade pasta, salad, bread and, most importantly— her homemade chocolate chip cookies.
I’d never say this to her face since she’s my parents’ age but these cookies are nothing short of orgasmic. I have NEVER had chocolate chip cookies this delicious. And since then, it has become my SOLE MISSION IN LIFE to replicate this recipe so that we don’t have to secretly pray each weekend that her kids are coming to visit so that she will make an abundance of cookies as we wait with bated breath for her to hopefully drop a few off on our doorstep. Are we that desperate? I don’t know.
Ha, just kidding, we totally are. We have a problem. And that problem’s name is Melanie. Kidding again, she and her husband are hands down the best neighbors we’ve ever had. I’ve been dying to just straight up ask her for the recipe but, I don’t know. People are protective of their family recipes, and I don’t want to put her in the position where she has to awkwardly turn down my request. I respect her and her cookies too much to do that. I mean, she’s super nice and for all I know she would just hand it over, but to be honest, where is the thrill in that anyway? Plus, there’s that whole “will she? won’t she?” that comes with seeing her kids’ cars pull in that brings a certain level of anticipation to our quarantine days that I’m not quite willing to give up just yet.
What? I don’t know. It’s the cookies talking.
Alright, enough already. I won’t be that blogger who makes you scroll past an essay about how this cookie recipe sprang into my head three winters ago during a blizzard while I was missing the taste of home. I hate that stuff. Just give me the recipe, Pinterest. Normally? I love reading blogs. When I’m specifically hunting for recipes? I don’t care about your childhood in the Oklahoma mountains. (Does Oklahoma have mountains?)
I mean, okay. I won’t do that because that’s not where this recipe originated. This was almost a year of blood, sweat and tears (not really but I’m nothing if not dramatic) trying different recipes, tweaking this, eliminating that. But last night? By golly. I THINK I DID IT. Or at least as close to “it” as we will ever be. And let’s be honest, unless I have a fresh plate to compare them to, I’ll never really know.
But anyway, without further ado, I present to you, THE HOLY GRAIL of chocolate chip cookie recipes. Trust me, your kids WILL be blogging about this one and how whenever they take their first bite their minds drift back to growing up in the Mississippi bayous…. ok, ok.
(This isn’t me patting myself on the back. It’s my neighbor’s magic. I’m just a mere translator.)
* * * DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A BAKER. THIS RECIPE IS SLOPPILY WRITTEN & HAS SOME QUESTIONABLE INSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE I AM ALSO NOT A MATH MAJOR NOR ANYTHING RESEMBLING CAPABLE IN A KITCHEN SETTING. JUST GO WITH IT AND THANK JESUS ABOVE THAT IT WASN’T YOU WHO HAD TO EAT SUBPAR CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES FOR A YEAR DURING THE DEVELOPMENT PHASE. * * *
Did I actually just complain about having to eat cookies? 🤔
THE BEST CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES YOU WILL EVER EAT.
- Prep time: 1 minute. (Ha. See what I did there? Real talk, anywhere from 15-30 depending on your level of competence… took me about 30. 🙆)
- Baking time: 12.5-15 minutes (depending on your oven)
- Yields: 14 medium-sized cookies
- 6.5 TBSP unsalted butter (room temp or slightly chillier. NOT chilled)
- 3/4 C minus 2 TBSP white sugar (literally scoop out 2 TBSP and put it back where it came from)
- 4 TBSP brown sugar
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 egg
- 1 1/2 C flour
- 1/2 TSP baking soda
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/2 C semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 1/2 C milk chocolate chips
- Preheat oven to 350º
- With a stand mixer or by hand, cream together sugars & butter.
- Add egg & vanilla, mix until combined
- Combine dry ingredients in a separate bowl and add to mixture. Mix until dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl
- Stir in the chocolate chips with a spoon
- Form round balls with 1-1 1/2 tablespoons of dough.. I’m not totally sure. I measured with my heart. They weren’t small, but they weren’t huge. We’ll go with golf-ball sized. I managed to make 14 equally-sized cookies.
- Space evenly on a cookie sheet covered with parchment paper. I used this kind and I swear to you it made a difference somehow. Is that a thing? Bakers? Is that a thing???
- Bake for 12.5-13 minutes or until just undercooked. Don’t wait until you see golden brown, or they will overcook. You want the slightly undercooked, as they will continue to cook a little bit while they are cooling— assuming you don’t dig right in like I always do and always will. A little cookie dough never killed anyone.